REMEMBERING WHO I WAS MEANT TO BE

There was a time when I was completely disconnected from myself.

I grew up being called “too emotional,” quietly battling waves of anxiety and depression, numbing them with whatever I could : food, phone games, television, pills, even alcohol and marijuana. From a young age, I was handed anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills, and soon I couldn’t imagine functioning without them.

On the outside, I looked like I had it all together, a good friend, an overachiever, a hard worker. But I was simply a people-pleaser who never slowed down and very good at masking. On the inside, I was running on empty. I lived on caffeine and autopilot, working late into the night, constantly chasing success, approval, and some fleeting sense of peace. The only time I felt truly alive was when I was far from it all : traveling, exploring wild places, where I could finally breathe and simply be myself.

Then I became a mother.

The birth of my first son cracked something open in me. Suddenly, it wasn’t about meeting expectations anymore, it was about becoming the kind of mother he deserved. My values began to shift. I left my corporate role, traded the noise of the city for a small countryside village, and for the first time, I experienced stillness.

When my second son was born, all the unhealed pain I had buried for years rose to the surface. I could no longer outrun it. I felt broken, exhausted, and unfit to be a mother, until a referral to maternal mental health support changed everything.

This time, I refused the quick fix. No more numbing. I was determined to heal : body, mind, and spirit.

My healing journey became a tapestry of many threads: therapy, coaching, naturopathy, energy work, yoga, reconnecting with nature, learning to nourish my body, and discovering the true meaning of spirituality. It wasn’t one thing that saved me, it was the synergy of them all. I began to understand that real well-being isn’t just about eating well or exercising; it’s about creating balance in every part of our lives : emotional, physical, spiritual, relational.

There’s a saying I love: When the student is ready, the teacher appears. And they did. Beautiful souls showed up to guide me, inspire me, and remind me of who I was before the wounds and the conditioning : a wild, sensitive, radiant soul.

Today, I live as her.

I dance freely. I rest without guilt. I nurture healthy boundaries and relationships rooted in love. I create a life that feels like me, filled with adventure, laughter, creativity, and purpose. I’m no longer afraid to go against the current if it means staying true to my heart and my family.

I am no longer surviving.
I am fully alive.

If I could find my way back to myself, so can you